Are you sitting here right now thinking, “Oh My God, what do I do?”
I know you may be in shock, feeling scared, confused, angry, and alone.
What are my parents going to say? What will my boyfriend say? No one can know.
You are going to be okay. And your baby is going to be okay. BOTH of you are LOVED by God and He has a purpose for BOTH of you.
Don’t go anywhere. Please listen to my story. It wasn’t that long ago.
I was curled on the sofa in our family’s living room the day my mother sat down beside me & asked the question that would shatter my hopes for my sophomore year of high school.
“Kim, have you ever had sex?” My response was immediate! “No!” It was also a lie. I was 16 years old & although my mother had always encouraged me to come to her when I started thinking about having sex, that was just something moms said, right? What teenage girl actually wants to have that conversation? What mother, for that matter? My mom, however, was an ob/gyn. She knew the signs of pregnancy & recognized what I had not even been able to admit to myself. I had been to the doctor earlier that day because I wasn’t feeling well. She had them run a pregnancy test after I left…
I will never forget the words that came out of her mouth. “Honey, I think you’re pregnant.”
I felt my stomach drop, the way it does on a roller coaster. My heart beat faster, panicked. Me, pregnant? My head filled with reasons why this couldn’t be. I’m 16. I’m a track star. I’m a straight A students. I don’t do drugs. I had sex with my boyfriend three times. You have got to be kidding me! As I sat on my living room sofa, I was speechless.
Then all of a sudden I started screaming. I can’t remember what I was screaming bc all I could hear was the rushing in my ears, like a vacuum sucking up the life I had planned. After months of ignoring signs my clothes became unbearably tight.
Hysterical, unable to accept this new reality, I continued to scream. “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!” I jumped off the sofa & started literally running from room to room thru the house… as if I could physically move away from the truth. My mom followed me from the family room to the kitchen, to the family room, to the den… she tried to calm me but it just wasn’t happening.
Is any of this sounding familiar to you?
Once I began to calm down my mother helped me upstairs, and immediately I started thinking about my birthmother. She was 16 years old when she gave birth to me. She decided to give me life & place me for adoption. I have always been so thankful for her decision; however, I never imagined I would face the same adversity 16 years later.
My initial thoughts were that there was no way I could carry my baby to term. It was bad enough that my mom knew… but the thought of my dad, my sister, my friends, my family finding out- yikes, no way!
Then my mom proceeded to tell me about my options. She told me my first option was to terminate the pregnancy but that I was already 5 ½ months along… seriously, 5 months. I closed my eyes & let go of my original plan. I knew that I could not & would not terminate this pregnancy.
“Your second option is to have & raise this baby.”
Just as quickly I knew this was not going to work either. I wanted to finish high school with my friends, graduate college, become a teacher & a small business owner, marry the man of my dreams & have two children of our own!
She then told me I could have my baby & place it for adoption. She told me that she & dad would support whatever decision I made. Before she could even finish speaking I had made up my mind. I would have my baby & place it for adoption. I didn’t know what the God had planned for me, my baby & my future but I knew He would take care of us.
Have you considered adoption? With adoption, you are in the driver’s seat. There are agencies & maternity homes available to help you walk thru this process. Your courage & selflessness can bring a lifetime of joy to a couple who otherwise may never have a family.
YOU can choose the adoptive parents, YOU can choose the openness of your future relationship with them! The future is in your hands! Does that sound empowering or what?!
The day my son, Christopher, was born I will never forget. I held him all night long. The nurses would come in urging me to put him down so I could sleep. But I knew that I could sleep later. I couldn’t put him down. I stared at him while he slept, I stared at him while he ate, I stared at him staring right back at me.
He knew who I was. He knew that I loved him more than anything else in the world. The morning came quickly. I will tell you I had been dreading this day for months.
I had picked out an outfit just for him! His adoptive parents loved baseball… so I thought a baby blue & white baseball onesie with matching cap would be just perfect. My mom & sister took picture of me & Christopher so we could leave them with his parents.
In the sadness & grief that followed Christopher’s birth & adoption I knew that God had plans for both of us. But the loss was still difficult. I am not going to lie. I cried lots & lots. I cried myself to sleep over & over. I would carry around a box of his things… his first pacifier, first blanket, his hospital blankets. I’ll tell you what…no one was going to take these things from me. But in time, the pain lessened. I received updates & pictures in the mail. In time I began to smile when they arrived. He was beautiful & healthy & spoiled rotten
Needless to say, I survived high school. I went on to graduate college with a degree in Business & marry my best friend & college sweetheart. We became pregnant with our first son shortly after we married. I can’t remember being more excited! I was pregnant with a baby that would be ours forever!! I would see his first step, I would see his first little league game, I would watch his graduations & his walk down the aisle with his bride.
On the day our son, Shawn-Michael was born I couldn’t help but think of Christopher. I had held him in this same hospital nine years earlier. And it felt right that Christopher’s mom had experienced a similar beautiful moment with her son. Now, it was my turn.
I am grateful that I was able to experience motherhood for the first time with joy & hope rather than fear & anxiety.
Your life is NOT over. You have options.
I dare you to be a hero! Be bold. Be courageous. Consider Adoption.